Did Weiner Cheat?

Representative Anthony Weiner (D)-NY, finally admitted to twitpic'ing pictures of his..."weiner"! Now personally, I could care less. He's actually one of the good congressmen in Congress, but clearly he had a lapse in judgment.

Twitter was in a frenzy yesterday when the news broke and he gave his tearful apology in a press conference. Did he steal money? No. Did he lie about important legislation? No. Did he send the pictures to an intern or secretary in his office? No. So, for those reasons, I don't think he should resign. He said as much in the presser.

However, he also said, that he and his wife would work through this, and would not be separating in any way. So, I ask, did he cheat?

This is a sticky situation because he never met any of the recipients, he just sexted, sent pictures and talked a lot of proverbial lascivious shit over the Intraweb. I ask this question almost rhetorically, because I'm not married, so it would be easy for me to say, oh she'll be upset for a little while, but they can definitely get past it. Yet, when I take a moment and think about it. He broke his wife's trust. Now, if he's working late, or is up on the computer all night, she probably won't be able to help but wonder if he's being inappropriate. A lot of men came to his defense, claimed it was harmless. Then Weiner admitted today, to there being at least 7 different women he communicated with, and shared pictures with. Is that worse? Better?

From a personal standpoint, I think it's safe to ask yourself how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot, in situations like this. If the story that broke had been that his wife was sending pictures of herself nude to different men on the Intraweb, she would have been called a "scarlet", and "hussy", "jezebel" and everything under the sun. No question, her faithfulness would be questioned. Even still the question remains, did she cheat?

I don't know if cheat is the right word, but there is a definite betrayal of some kind here. I imagine when you're married, the last thing you want is for your spouse to start intimiate, sexual conversations with another person, even if it is over the computer.

Faithful????

"I used to take 'em out to eat but they wasn't really eatin'
Mighta got a little head but I wasn't really cheatin'"
It's hard when your lady don't believe what you say
And what you did in the past you gotta live with today
She asked if they could spend the night together
He thought, and said, "I'm tryin' to get my life together"
Went home to his lady, these were his confessions
"Baby you a blessin' and my best friend"

- "Faithful" by Common

Well I want to start this one off by asking the question, is oral sex non-sex enough to not be considered cheating?

I was talking to a male acquaintance yesterday and we got into an interesting debate on what should and should not be allowed in the context of a relationship and/or marriage. Like the infamous Common line above, to him head is not considered an act worthy of being labeled cheating.

In fact, his words were, "Men have needs, real talk. If the opportunity presents itself, then it really isn't a big deal, because well, it's just head."

So I had to ask, "Does that work both ways?" He said that it did. Which led me to this post. I have had a chance to sleep on it, and again I wonder why do people enter into these jiveass relationships unfulfilled or with other agendas. The whole point of a relationship is exclusivity. You are exclusively seeing one person (well, unless you live in Texas and Utah). You are exclusively sleeping with one person, etc. So why then, get into a relationship, or worse marriage, and then decide to dip out and receive oral favors from other people? Wouldn't it be easier, not to mention a lot less messy to just be single and get oral gratification from whomever you please.

What drove me to that conclusion is when my friend said, "just don't get caught...just don't tell." That implies that you are doing something wrong, which is a contradiction of his earlier statement. If it's "just head," and it doesn't mean anything, what are we keeping secrets for? Not to mention, this just opens pandora's box for more actions that will eventually ruin whatever you have with that person.

Case in point, a girlfriend of mine was in the same situation. She found out from sidepiece A that her man was getting oral favors from said sidepiece. Oh, and just as an aside to any men reading this, sometimes women will set you up. Be a little leery of women too eager to do favors when you are in a relationship because that could be a true hater. She could be someone who knows your woman, and you may be unaware of this. And, as soon as the deed is done, she is skipping to tell your woman what has gone down, so be careful with the sidepieces. Back to my friend. She found out from her man's sidepiece that he had been getting oral favors. She confronted him about it, he brushed it off as though it was nothing. Then when she threatened to walk, he apologized and gave her the "I'll never do it again," script. So a few months later, she finds out that it has happened again with a different chica. Well at this point, I am pretty sure she is going to walk, but instead she stays with him. However, she launches into a barrage of oral exploits with several men who have been trying to get with her, but she has turned down due to her relationship. This went on for years! What a waste.

I consider myself a pretty good actress when I want to be, but not in my real life. I can't be around a man that I know I am dipping off on, his family, friends (including a few I have dipped off with) and pretend like we are just a happy couple. That's crazy! So, I say, if you want a little head, maybe you shouldn't be tied to anyone if you feel the need to have a variety. Afterall, that's the joy of being single!